You are selfish. But just sometimes..

Happy Monday, Hustlers. I hope your weekend was full of opportunity, joy and just a touch of irresponsibility.. Sometimes the best results come from that last one. Case in point, I spent my Friday night praising Beyonce by imitating her dance moves (to perfection) and after that, I ate the best kebab I’ve ever tasted. Oh, and I also met a bunch of people who, like me, aren’t letting anything get in the way of their dream (posts on those peeps to come). Result? I think so. A result which could not have been achieved sans dance moves mentioned.

I’m now a week out of my job. Just one short week! It actually freaks me out how distant that job seems.. Because already, there have been some amazing developments in Lucy’s world. I have never felt so energized. Never felt so driven. And I’ve never been more motivated to make sh*t happen. Now, the root cause of this may be that my bank account is draining faster than a paddling pool full of piranhas, but I reckon there’s something bigger and better at play here… Read on..

I feel as good as kite day looks!

All these fresh emotions have got me thinking – why have I spent years of my life doing things that don’t foster my passions? What was I thinking when I decided to pursue things that ‘might’ be ok ‘for now’ and will look good on my CV? Why have my energies been spent on work that doesn’t afford me progression in the areas I actually love?

It made me realize something massive, something potentially life changing, something I wish that I’d thought of years ago. With just one question, everything should become a little bit more clear in terms of how to tackle Your Dream. With a completely quiet mind and with the Dream in check, the question to ask yourself when making a decision about your future is simply, “why am I doing this?”

I have come the the conclusion that I’ve been doing lots of things for lots of pretty random reasons throughout the entire course of my adult life, very few of which actually make sense when it comes to my Dream. I went to uni because straight out of school it was the ‘expected’ thing to do. I studied psychology because I was tired of not having an answer when people would ask me what I was studying (they were again, assuming I was going to uni in the first place). By actually saying out loud that I was studying psychology over and over again, I ended up tricking myself in to it (the irony in this never ceases to amaze me). I took the first job I got offered out of uni, because I believed people when they told me that opportunities don’t come around that often for a psychology major arts graduates. I stayed in Wellington for way longer than I should have for fear of the unknown when I knew Auckland was the place I needed to be. And sometimes I used to order regular flat whites, instead of my favourite trim flat white because I didn’t want that cute waiter to think I was overly diet conscious.. “Oh, hey, just a flat white please.” “Trim?” “Who, me…. Pffftt naaaaaaaahh, diets are so, like, Jenny Craig (cheeks go red).”

BUT NO. This is not ok! These things happened because I lost sight of The Dream, I lost sight of my passion, I lost sight of my goal and most importantly, I lost sight of how Lucy O’Connor best likes her coffee (which is an essential component when it comes forging my Dream). Granted, these things were not bad things, but they sent me on quite a random trajectory which has so far not catered to my Dream in a tangible way. Now, I have learnt a lot from this random trajectory (who knew how much it costs to rent a billboard), but imagine how wise I would be if I’d been learning in direct line with where I see myself in the future! I’d be a miniature bloody buddha.. And potentially more awesome (lol).. I might even have a proper pool instead of a paddling pool..

I know in my heart what it is I want to pursue. I am aware when something isn’t right for me, and as a result, to date, I have eventually found myself dissatisfied in the jobs I’ve worked. And because of this fact, to any outsiders, I seem ungrateful. I seem difficult to please. I seem entitled, because I don’t see myself settling for something that doesn’t give me fulfillment and joy and motivation to make the world a better place by doing what I love. I have been called selfish as a result of this and I tell you what, that flippin’ cuts deep. Being called selfish is like being called a robot. An emotionless chunk of tin with no capacity to feel, relate or empathize with anyone but yourself. And I don’t think it’s fair for people to call you selfish when you decide you want something specific from your life. It’s not that we aren’t grateful for what we have been given.. It’s just that we know that we only get one life. So why shouldn’t we try to make it the best possible one we can imagine?

Your ever growing potential.

I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to be a bit selfish in terms of The Dream because you are the one who actually owns it. It is yours and yours alone. It is not really for anyone else to say what Your Dream is. Your greater purpose may well include other people, but the making it happen part is up to you. People won’t get what you’re about all the time – even those closest to you. And this is ok! What you love to do, where you want to go in life, that is your unique take on the world. You want to do something different. You want to be the best. You want to change how humans view the world.. It’s all up to you. If you want to work in an accounting firm as an intern so you can one day be CEO, be my guest. If you want to be an actor, by all means act to your hearts content. If you want to dedicate your life to help others in need, flipping go for it. And if you want to be that cute waiter in Starbucks, I definitely ain’t stopping ya.

You cannot and will not ever please every single person you come across in life and you shouldn’t expect to. Realize that you are the only person that can make what you want out of life happen, and feel a certain freedom from fearing judgement, from fearing failure, from fearing expectation. You go ahead and prove Your Dream right. And at the end of the day, if all else fails, you can be content in knowing that you mustered enough courage, gave yourself enough worth and as a result, gave yourself the best shot at taking on the world, in whatever capacity you wanted to.

Today, you need to start valuing yourself, your unique abilities and your unique view point. Look out for number one when it comes to what’s important – things like happiness, personal fulfillment and Your Dream, whatever that may be. I am telling you now that it is ok to be a little bit selfish when you are deciding which path you want to take. It’s ok to want just a little bit more or even a little bit less. I’ve got your back. Now get hustling. #MondayHustle

2 Replies to “You are selfish. But just sometimes..”

  1. Agreed. We’re all flipping victims of other peoples expectations. But it is difficult to work out what your real dream is right! That’s why I reckon living abroad is the key to working out what your dream is vs what other people expect your dream should be. When you’re in a new place, and you aren’t surrounded by all these people with all these expectations, you learn what it is you really want. And then you can pursue it!!!! yeeeehaw!

  2. It is SO hard to work it out, Lily! And you are right, being forced out of your comfort zone abroad is a great way to find out what it is that really makes you tick. We gotta stop victimizing ourselves and stop blaming other people for our unhappiness and just go get it (a blog post on this to come soon you mind reader, you!). Thanks for the comment! So appreciated 🙂

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