Werking from home

Hey. How are ya. What the hell are you doing reading this, shouldn’t you be doing something.. I dunno, better!! Naaaaah jokes, go ahead, take some you time and read about me. Chances are, if you’re trying to smash your hustle too, you might be nodding your head in agreement, like a hungry horse, as you read this..

I’m wondering if I’m losing my ability to do stuff. Something is seriously inhibiting my brain in the area responsible for productivity. And, bagels, coffee and Jeremy Kyle aside, I reckon this issue is stemming from the fact that I’m.. Werking from home!

Calm down, spelling bee enthusiasts, don’t get your stingers in a twist – because werking is in fact an accurate term for what I find myself doing to avoid working. Do you know how many outfit changes I can go through a day when I’m not actually going anywhere at all!? Werk it, girl. Do you know how appealing it is to try and get the perfect winged eye liner happening, just before I nip out to the dairy for an essential $1 mix? Do you know how many dance moves I can attempt around the dining table (which doubles as my desk) while listening to Hotline Bling? HUNDREDS. And all this is me werking (or at least attempting to), not working.

I know people say that working from home is, like the best thing, like, ever, ’cause you can have as many plants as you want at your desk, and lunch time is all the time, and you don’t have to worry about bumping in to Barbara from HR who always asks, ‘how are you doing? No, really, how are you doing?’.. While looking you dead in the soul.

But it’s getting to the point where I am totally uninspired. I’m stuck for ideas. It’s like being back at Uni during exam time – as soon as you know you should be studying, all of a sudden cleaning your room, exercising and calling your mum (which I always love (brownie points)) seems way more important than learning about how animals perceive the passing of time (no shit, that was one of my papers).

Let’s take yesterday, for example. I got up (win). It was a little bit later than I would like to admit, so I decided to exercise later in the day rather than first thing as I normally like to (get that DONE). However, this decision had massive, and almost instant repercussions. It meant not only did I hardly work, I barely even werked. Check it out…

I ate my breakfast in my pyjamas. I managed to swap out my amazing silk pyjama pants (slash ten year old Supre track pants) for my exercise tights by about 11am. By 12pm I was able to swap out my silk camisole (slash Barney T-shirt) for.. Well, actually, the same Barney T-shirt, just with a sports bra underneath (really should do some washing). In between 11 and 12, I managed to do my breakfast dishes, and check in with the daily Facebook news. I did an Instagram post (extremely important) and composed an email (a small, but definite bout of work). After 12, I had lunch. And then I read a magazine which, judging by the cover, was meant to better my business prowess – so you know, relevant. I then culled some clothes from my clearly op-shop addicted wardrobe (I blame the wardrobe, not me). And, somehow, I looked at the time and it was 3pm. I thought to myself, shit I’ve been in my exercise tights and sports bra for three hours, I really should do something now. So I went for a run (amazingly). Then, I included 4-6pm as ‘night time’, and you don’t work at night time right? Night times are for supermarkets, dinners, TV (gotta see my ad on My Kitchen Rules!), ice-cream, Netflix etc.

You know what.. I didn’t even put on normal day clothes once. Or make up. The closest I got to ‘swag’ was the Nike cap I wore running. Not a cool one, a running one. I’d like to say that it was for sun protection, but, vainly, it was so no one could see my red face, lezzzzbeeeehonestttttt. And this is a sign that it’s time to change it up. I can’t continue the habit that is this habit.

I’ve got to get my productivity back! So, I’ve decided to invest in a hot desk. Get your minds out of the gutter, I’m renting a desk at an office space set up purposefully for people like me – hustlers just trying to get by, and do something useful outside of the rectangular box they call the fridge I mean home.

IMG_3651I’ll keep you in the loop with whether this sees any improvements in terms of my focus/productivity.. At the very least, I’ll have somewhere to be, and it’ll get me out of my PJ’s and in to some werk gear which will make me feel like I’m working.

Oh, but you remember that one email I said I sent yesterday? And that quote I posted on the ‘gram? Ended up being the best call. Massive deal. Huge. I woke up to a reply this morning, which is yet another game changer. Can’t wait to share. I can’t even use any exclamation marks, I’m so excited. Just goes to show that there are no small moves when it comes to the work you do manage to put in, even if it feels like nothing at the time. I’m so f*cking mysterious! Sorry for not being able to tell you. I will as soon as I can. Shouldn’t have said anything, really.. Just got excited by the coincidental Instagram post! It’s like what I’m posting is coming back to me.. Spooky. My next post will be about one million dollars.


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