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The leap of faith on a leap day

The leap of faith on a leap day

Monday Hustle's Diary

Today, we’re pretty lucky.

Why? We get an extra flippin’ day! It’s February 29th. The day that only exists once every 4 years. And whadya know.. It has fallen on a Monday this year. What. Is. Happening. With Monday’s?! It’s like ever since we started acknowledging them for the awesome day they are, Monday’s have started to provide! It’s weird that we think about days as having character. Ok, new hashtag goal – “Personification Of The Day – A book of poems by Monday Hustle”.

I started to do some reading about why leap days exist, and here’s what I got..

“All the other months in the Julian calendar have 30 or 31 days, but February lost out to the ego of Roman Emperor Caesar Augustus.”

And that’s where I stopped reading.

Just from reading that one sentence though, I’m sure that Caesar Augustus’ ego is probably more inflated than ever.. ‘Cause now we celebrate leap days for being individual, rare and exclusive. Ja Rule was born on a leap day. So was Pope Paul III. Not sure what the universe is trying to tell us with all of that.

In Italy apparently leap years are bad news.. Why? Because women become erratic. For an entire year? What on earth! They probably get an extra period or something.

Anyway, thought I’d give you an update on where I’m at, seeing as I haven’t really given you a run down this YEAR! Can you believe it’s almost March?!

Well, probably, since the first part of this article is all about how it’s a leap day, ie, last day of February.

This year has actually been hugely challenging so far. It all just feels a little stale. Like, I still have the same goals.. I’m still striving for the same things.. I’m still pushing every day for everything I set out to achieve..

But it somehow feels different. It feels tough. It feels slower, perhaps. It sometimes feels contrived. I don’t feel like I have the same level of motivation to offer you. I don’t feel like I’m offering myself the same level of motivation I was once capable of. And I don’t know what’s changed..

It’s not that things aren’t happening.. Things are there, slowly ticking away in the background… But I guess I came in to this year with such zest and positivity, I guess I came in to this year hoping for it all to fall in to place, I guess I came in with the feeling that this year might be a little easier than last..

But it hasn’t been. It’s been harder.

I have to be honest. Yesterday, I was even questioning the future of Monday Hustle. I started to feel anxious about this space and the direction, because I couldn’t conclude what value it was I had to offer.

I began to feel lost. And for the first time, I began to feel embarrassed that I was still doing this with no tangible long term results. I began to feel self-conscious in knowing that everything I achieve, or don’t achieve is out there ready to be consumed. I began to feel like a tall poppy, began wondering what it is I’m hoping to prove with all of this.

I don’t know why we put so much emphasis on time, but as I said on Instagram last night, it’s been nearly 9 months since I resigned.

That’s 3 months short of a year.

That’s a full pregnancy term.

In that time, supposedly you can grow 4.5 inches of hair.

In that time, you can also quit your job, and still be trying to make shit happen, with no clear or consistent end in sight..

And it’s disheartening. And it’s tough. At times, it even gets lonely. I hate it when people ask what I do, because immediately after I tell them, the focus shifts from what I do do, to what I don’t do, and what I don’t have (ie, a stable job and a regular pay cheque).

No wonder at times I feel like a failure!

But, when it all gets tough, and I’ve exhausted my internal resilience, I have to look elsewhere for support to avoid having a break down in the middle of Ponsonby Road with a takeaway coffee cup that’s actually filled with water because I can’t afford coffee right now but feel I have to keep up appearances..

So what keeps me going?

Knowing that you’re rooting for me.

Yes, you, reading this right now. The person who follows me on Instagram, who ‘likes’ me on Facebook, the person who comments, shares, messages, calls, the person who empathizes with my salt n vinegar chip addiction.. You. The stranger. The friend. The follower. The hustler. The person who gets it, the person who understands, the person who is still here with me 9 months in, checkin’ this out on a Monday!

And for that? I cannot emphasize my appreciation and gratitude enough.

I hope that in some small way, I can be that person for you. ‘Cause this time, even if it seems slow and pointless and even unfair, is supposedly a temporary state. One day, it will pay off. It will be worth it. One day, I swear it will even make sense!

Maybe we still have a lot to learn. Maybe we still have situations to encounter. Maybe we just need to give ourselves enough grace to sit back and trust in this crazy journey.

This year is a leap year. Today is February 29th. And that means that already in 2016, we’ve been blessed with an extra day of hustling, and an extra reminder to trust in this leap of faith we’ve taken.. Whether we are more erratic or not, there is no way that this extra day can be a bad omen. This is our year. This is our time. This is our hustle. Go get it.

#MondayHustle

How is 2016 treating you? Am I the only one who feels this way? Let me know in the comments!

Written by mondayhustler

15 Comments
  1. Lucy – you are such a big influence for me personally. Its really humbling and inspiring to see you be so open about struggling with your goals. I know you’re going to achieve such amazing things and hustle the hardest – thanks for all the motivating posts and advice xo

    • Hey Rhiana – wow, thank you so much for your ridiculously kind and humbling words. I think it’s essential to be open about the hard stuff, as uncomfortable as it can be.. It’s amazing to learn how many people are out there hustling for similar things and feeling a similar way – we are so lucky to be a part of such an amazing, encouraging and uplifting community. That alone is inspiring enough to keep me going. Keep doing what you do, girlfriend. We will get there. Lots of love and hustle xxx

  2. I was just sitting in my car at lunchtime thinking the same thing, it is hard to keep the facade motivation and positivity when you just aren’t feeling it. Questioning yourself and your dreams and feeling that fear is ok, hell it’s more than ok just as long as you don’t let it cripple you.

    Stay strong and keep hustling!

    • Hey Alice – it is so hard to live a facade, which is why we mustn’t!! It’s important to be open about the hard stuff I think, because it makes you realize that everything is temporary.. I bet you one day soon, we will both be feeling super amazing and positive and wonder what the hell we were thinking being so down! However, it’s all real. We are all human. And it’s all a part of the journey. Thank you so much for your comment. I’ma do my best! xxx

  3. I feel ya Lucy. The hustle ain’t always easy but what makes all the difference is pushing through that and just keeping it going.

    • You are so right Melissa – keep that momentum going forward. It’s the only way to get through the tough stuff. As Alice said below – acknowledge that fear and anxiety but don’t let it cripple you. We so got this girl xx

  4. Go Lucy,
    If it was easy everyone would be doing what you are doing. I LOVE your honesty don’t give up Andre always believed you would make it.. YOU GO GIRL..XX

    • Pauline, you are a total inspiration. Thank you so much for that comment. It brought more than a few tears to my eyes, because you are so right. Andre would have never let me wallow in the tough stuff for long! Funny you mention that, because these days, I often find myself asking ‘what would Andre do?’ when I am unsure of my next direction.. It can be dangerous haha, but as we now know, we must live life to the full, right! Hope you are doing ok. I still think of you almost every day. If you are ever in Auckland, please get in touch – would love to catch up over a coffee – I’ll do the same if I’m down South. Lots and lots of love – Lucy xxxx

  5. I am right there with you!! That’s amazing that you actually quit your job to follow your dreams though. I’ve been dying to do this for months and haven’t been able to yet. I’ve been trying to grow my blog as well but feel like nothing that I do makes a difference. It’s also really hard having to work at something that I hate when I wish I could be pouring all my time into something that I love. Hopefully we’ll both reach our goals soon though!

    • Hey girl – thank you for the comment! Quitting my job happened at the right time for me.. I had had a bit of experience in the field I wanted to get in to.. I had some money in the bank.. I had the drive.. And luckily I just realized that it was then or never!! What you are doing is awesome. It is bloody tough, you know. There are so many things you supposedly could be doing, so many things you think you should be doing, but at the end of the day, it’s about focussing on you. Growing the blog will come – you just have to make sure you’re staying true to who you are and what you do rather than putting all your energy in to looking at what other people do or have done to get their ‘success’. We will reach our goals soon, because we have already taken that first step.. Which is acknowledging that we want something different. I believe in you, sister! Keep up that awesome hustle. xxx

  6. I was just thinking the exact same thing today…maybe its a leap year thing…but we do it because we love it……right?

    • Maybe it is a leap year thing!!! But really, I think it’s just a human thing! It’s all about the journey, and the journey isn’t always fun.. But you are so right. At the end of the day, the love of it gets us through. Thank you so much for the comment! xx

  7. HONESTLY! I’ve been SO unmotivated it’s ridiculous. I used to really try and push out 3 posts a week, and now I’m lucky if I even get one out. It’s something that is extremely disappointing to me. Also, I’m in the same boat you are with not making enough money! I mean I still have my regular job, but I just wish I was able to see some real improvement on my blog since I started it like four months ago.

    I hope you feel more motivated soon and things start picking up for you! Much love from one blogger to another.

    • Aw GIRL I so feel ya!! It gets so tough to be in constant creation mode.. Don’t be disappointed. Your readers will understand that LIFE HAPPENS! And in fact, it’s almost more important that you walk your walk because that’s how you get inspired and find content to put out there! One post a week is FINE! That’s amazing. You’re all over it, sister. And the money will come. Remember, it’s only about money insofar as you can afford to live.. Everything else is a bonus! Four months is no time at all 🙂 Just keep at it and remember why you started! Thank you for your comment!! Nice to know I’m not alone. Keep that passion alive, hustler xx

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