I’m sorry.. But I’ve let myself slip.

PHEW, what a week that last one was! Monday Hustle went on an interview binge for, like, 5 days straight. And then I went to Auckland City Limits on Saturday. So, as you can probably imagine, I’m feeling just a liiiiiiittle bit tired on my Monday morning.. However more importantly, I’m feeling ridiculously inspired after hearing the tales of great hustlers who have hustled before.

I loved the variety of talent, and their brutal honesty about the tough stuff they’ve endured to get to where they are. If you missed any of the interviews, check out the full line up here – they are all well worth your time – so many gems peppered throughout – normally, you’d have to pay for wisdom like this (or at least watch day time TV).

Anyway, to the point. Reel it in, Luce.

As per the title of this post.. I’ve let myself slip.

It’s something I’m not really that proud of. It’s something I’m not really that happy with. It’s something that, as you’ve probably picked up on, I’ve been feeling pretty darn stressed over lately. Apparently stress = face for rent, because a family of pimples moved in down the left side of my face, and for weeks procreated at a record pace (am I a rapper? Took notes from Kendrick).

Sorry. Gross.

Anyway. Back to the point. This time, Lucy.

As you know, this year has felt a little bit up and down for me. Well, ok, if I’m being honest, there may have been a few ups, but I’ve maaaainly been feeling the downs.. Which is more than a little out of character.

I guess when I think about it.. There have been lots of changes. A few personal challenges. A couple of unexpected curve balls. Fair to say, I’ve been forced out of my comfort zone. I haven’t had much stability so far. I’ve had to face the realities of life, and I’ve had to make a few difficult decisions, decisions I still call into question most days.

It seems that it’s all comin’ at me. But not in the Monday Hustle sense I initially visualized.

When I first started this blog, I wasn’t worried about a result. I wasn’t stressed about money. I wasn’t concerned about external expectation, or external judgement.All I was worried about was what I was doing, why I wanted to do it, and how I was going to make it happen. I was taking it day by day.

And, with that mindset, it was going good. Things were happening. I was happy-go-hustle, and this was a formula that seemed to be working really well.

But this year, it’s not the same. Something has been off kilter. Since 2015, perhaps over the Christmas break, or during the emotional roller-coaster month that was January, or post my expensive trip to Japan, my mindset has changed.

Although I don’t know when specifically this happened, I now think I at least know what the cause is..

When I write it down, it seems simple. This year isn’t the same because I’ve been focussing too much on an outcome.

What do I mean by that?

Well, instead of taking it day by day, I’ve been focussing on the end result. I’ve been wishing for it. I’ve been craving it, even. I’ve been projecting my future, thereby sacrificing my present, and this has caused my whole sense of Monday-Hustle self to become warped.

It’s crazy, really, seeing as I always talk about the journey, about learning from every experience, about the importance of giving oneself the grace to feel every up and down loud and clear.. I know this stuff, I understand it first hand. But, I guess I’ve just been getting a bit impatient.

I finally clicked as to the reason I’ve been feeling so off when I was listening over the Shakey Graves interview I posted last week (#inlove). He said that there was never a specific ‘moment’ when he knew that he’d made it.. He said that it was, and still is, the culmination of an entire process.

Mind. Blown.

Also, #inlove.

After I heard that, I knew instantly what it is that is different for me this year. I’ve strayed from the process because I’ve been focussing on an outcome – and it’s hard to stay positive when you’re only ever thinking about an end goal, and not about the awesome things that are actually happening in front of you right now!

I realized that I’ve been struggling because I’ve been allowing others to define my success.. I’ve been feeling inadequate because I’ve been stressing about income, instead of focussing on purpose.. I’ve been feeling stagnant because somewhere along the way, I’ve become worried about things not ‘coming through’, instead of being present and engaged in each day.

But, as I said, I know this stuff. I know that I can’t control what others think, how much money comes in or whether or not I land a job.. All I can control is how I package it, how I choose to challenge myself next, how I choose to handle this crazy mad insane journey.

So, from today, I’m regaining control of my output. I’m regaining control of my mindset. I’m regaining control of my sense of control. From today, I am choosing to enjoy the process, and to be open to whatever opportunity may come at me next… ‘Cause the outcome of this hustle may well be something I didn’t ever envisage at all.

With all of that said, I have an exciting announcement to make on Easter Monday. There’s change on the way. I’m hoping to create some momentum. As always, there are no guarantees.. But, either way, it’s going to be the next part of this process – and blimmin’ heck, am I going to enjoy whatever the outcome or what!

My only hint? If you’re in Auckland.. Keep April the 7th free!!

#WatchThisSpace #MondayHustle

Any ideas? Comment below! Make sure you keep in the loop by ‘liking’ the Monday Hustle Facebook page

8 Replies to “I’m sorry.. But I’ve let myself slip.”

  1. Isn’t it great when the penny finally drops! It’s so easy to get ahead of ourselves and gosh the expectation we put on ourselves is a bit much sometimes. Of course I have two super important things already happening on April 7th!

    1. It is so nice when the penny drops, even if in some ways it does feel like I’m back at square one!! Man it’s an emotional roller-coaster.. But I wouldn’t want to be living life any other way. DARN about April 7th – let me know if anything changes!! Thanks for the comment Melissa xx

    1. Aw thanks Hayley! It’s really comforting to know that I’m not alone in the way I’m feeling. Hope everything is amazing with you! x

    1. That is the best thing anyone could say to me, Cassie!! You inspire me to keep hustling. Thank you so much for the comment – and stick at your journey. Apparently it’s all worth it in the end, even if it feels tough right now. xx

  2. I don’t have any ideas, only that you put into words exactly what I am going through right now! I’m partly glad I’m not the only one who feels this way during this crazy journey of self-discovery and boss-ness…I’m also sad that we do get this stressed out about it. But I think you’re on the right track! Thanks for the encouragement and incentive to redesign my thought process! xoxo

    1. Hey Elie – thank you so much for your comment!! So happy that you found some value/parallels in my latest post.. It’s really nice to know that I’m not alone with my thoughts and feelings. I think that questioning and feeling a bit stressed can sometimes be a good thing, as it forces us to reassess where we are at, and what we are doing.. Doesn’t mean it’s always buckets of fun however!! Keep up the amazing work – we will get there. Lots of love and hustle xxx

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